The inevitable happened today as Chelsea and England centerback John Terry was stripped of the England captaincy following revelations that he nutmegged former Blues teammate Wayne Bridge’s ex-girlfriend, Vanessa Perroncel.

Rio Ferdinand takes the armband from the disgraced Terry, with Steven Gerrard named vice-captain.

Interestingly, the news mirrors a long-rumored situation involving the US Men’s team in 1998. Former Nats striker Eric Wynalda confirmed on Fox Football Fone-In that ex-teammate John Harkes had an affair with Wynalda’s wife prior to the World Cup in France. This revelation contributed to Harkes being dropped from the World Cup team by Coach Steve Sampson, who cited nebulous, “leadership issues.”

And Sampson this week saw an opening to blame the US’s poor performance in France on something other than his awful coaching.

“Hey! We had one of those affair thinghees too and that’s why we sucked at the World Cup in 1998, not because of my absurd 3-6-1 formation or the fact that I changed a handful of starters after the opening loss to the Germans or that I’m as tactically astute as a ball-peen hammer!”

Sorry Steve. Not buying it.

What effect this will all have on the England side remains to be seen–what are the odds we can convince Fabio Capello to consult with Sampson over how to deal with the fallout?–and it does not appear Terry is any danger of getting the Harkes treatment. But we’re sure to hear plenty more about it as the June 12 opener vs. the US draws closer. The British press isn’t exactly known for its restraint in these matters.

The ABC/ESPN broadcast schedule has been released and they will be showing over 40 matches from South Africa across their family of channels. A few of the Soccerati contributors will spend their time watching matches from the comfort of a random Vegas Sportsbook (thank you World Series of Poker) but the schedule is worth a look for those viewing from home. First big match will be USA/England at 2pm ET, June 12th on ABC.

You can view the complete schedule after the jump.

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Wayne Rooney scored all four goals versus Hull City

Great news, it’s not broken! - Just a nasty hamstring injury that will limit Arsenal defender Thomas Vermaelen. You know your side is in desperate shape with injuries when the headline reads “Avoids Leg Break”. The injury occurred during the match with Aston Villa where the Gooners did their titles hopes no favors with a draw. Then on Sunday they let Manchester United walk all over them 3-1.

In a match shown in wonderous 3D - As if having your EPL title hopes squashed wasn’t bad enough, the feat was shown with the magic of 3D technology. Naturally someone had to throw in an Avatar reference.  We can blame Sky for bringing us Wayne Rooney’s ugly mug in glorious 3D.

Wayne Rooney insists he’s staying with ManU - Any time a player is rolling along like Rooney there is always speculation he’ll be lured away by dreams of magical paydays and the streets of London/Milan/etc. Rooney is shooting down those thoughts.

“There’s always speculation, and when other big teams are talking about you, it’s nice that you’re talked about,” Rooney told Manchester United’s official website. “But as I’ve said many times before, I’m a United player and I’m very happy here.”

Meanwhile, Rooney’s current and former agents are sniping - There seems to be a little £4.3 Million dispute between his agents he was but a young las at Proactive and his current agent, generally about fees on the massive sponsorship deals Rooney has accrued. This little tiff doesn’t seem to be affecting the league goal leader on the pitch as he just might crack the 30-goal barrier for the first time in his career.

Bottom dwelling Hull City draw with Chelsea - And we will speak of this no more. Although the tying goal from Drogba was quite nice.

Charlie Davies setting amazing recovery pace - As Dan mentioned earlier in the week, Charlie Davies was seen playing a little poker around Las Vegas this week. This comes on the heels of a great piece on ESPN about his recovery. After receiving horrific injuries in a car accident just a few months ago, the entire soccer world assumed there was a very slim chance he would be even close to stepping on a pitch let along compete for a spot. He suffered through a broken right femur and tibia, broken left elbow, a lacerated bladder, and facial fractures that required doctors to literally peel his face off to repair. The accident occurred on October 13th and he is already jogging and looking to be back on the field with FC Sochaux by April. If you read just one link this week, this should be your choice.

If Davies can complete his recovery on its new timetable, it will be some welcome good news for a U.S. team that just recently had midfielder Clint Dempsey sidelined by a PCL injury that threatened to jeopardize his World Cup. The U.S. team’s top striker before the accident, Davies brings a combination of speed, strength and finishing ability that no other player in the national team pool can provide, and a healthy Davies would provide a significant boost, both on and off the field.

Togo rewarded for losing members in an attack with expulsion - The most insane news of the week comes out of the bizarre world of African soccer. You would think ahead of the World Cup they would show a little common sense. Everyone knows by now the Togolese bus was ambushed ahead of their appearance in the African Nations Cup losing team members and staff. Understandably the team felt it necessary to return home and forfeit their matches after such a horrible ordeal. The Confederation of African Football responded by banning them from the next two African Nation Cup competitions and fined them $50,000US. I try to leave the punditry to others, but that’s $%^#@#$ insanity.

The trials of Eddie Johnson and Freddy Adu sometimes read like a Greek tragedy. Precocious young talents derailed by bad decisions, poor management and middling form. Sophocles would be all over these two. Currently stranded well outside of the US Men’s player pool, the pair are miles away from being in the conversation for a World Cup slot and only a few months to impress Nats Coach Bob Bradley.

So they’ve gone to the cradle of democracy, Greece, and club side Aris Thessaloniki, to find answers. Both came on as subs last weekend and teamed up for a goal in a 2-1 loss to something called Skoda Xanthi.

Both players, of course, were once thought to be the future of the National Team. EJ made a huge splash in qualifying for the ‘06 World Cup, scoring seven goals in six games, before injury and a severe dip in form derailed his playing time in Germany. Since, he’s gone from MLS to Fulham, which loaned him to Cardiff, and now onto Greece. Adu, the former prodigy and Nike marketing darling, joined him a week later, after a troubled loan spell at Beleneseses (which followed a year-long loan at Monaco, where Adu played sparingly) and the pair are hoping to re-start their dwindling chances to make the roster in South Africa.

The odds are against them, but maybe a trip to the Oracle at Delphi can give the players a clearer picture.

Here’s a nifty video showing the vehicles driven by the best (and best-paid) footballers out there.

Not to give away the ending, but here’s a breakdown of who drives what:

Peter Crouch - Aston Martin D89
Didier Drogba - Mercedes SL 65
Andriy Schevchenko - Ferrari F360
Zlatan Ibrahimovich - Ferrari F430 Spyder
Ryan Giggs - Bentley Continental GT
Xabi Alonso - Range Rover Sport 4.4
Wayne Rooney - Lamboghini Gallardo
Thierry Henry - Astin Martin Vanquish
Cristiano Ronaldo - Audi R8
Sol Campbell - BMW X5
Alessandro Del Pierro - Fiat 500
David Beckham - Aston Martin D87
Fernando Torres - Audi Q7
Steven Gerrard - Range Rover Vogue
Ruud van Nistelrooij - Mercedes M-Class
Michael Essien - Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

Here’s where this weekend’s games stand for profit-minded punters:

The British press seems to like him, and suggests that he’s offering quite the valueable boost to Everton.

I don’t really get this video (any French translators out there?) but I think it’s a statement about Thiery Henry’s scoring Cup-altering goals with improper body parts:

The US finalized its list of bid cities a couple weeks ago. Dallas, Philly, and Houston all made the cut. Hard to think how Dallas couldn’t with the new, ever-soccer-friendly Cowboys Stadium. Surprise omissions include Chicago and San Francisco.

Here’s the map of what spots will comprise the USA bid for World Cup 2018/22:

More info at GoUSAbid.com.

As we get ramped up for South Africa 2010, Soccerati plans, at least in part, to tweet our way to the World Cup.

Be sure to follow:

@Soccerati

Also some of our venerable contributors, including @alcanthang and @JoeSpeaker.

Also from The Offside Rules, The Javier Florez story shows how a Colombian player for Juniors handles a heckling fan — he shoots him dead, and gets off with little more than a $75k slap on the wrist.

It’s gotta be hard to cheer for a guy who killed a fellow fan, no matter how many goals he scores:

The American is marking a strong presence right from the git-go. Proof in the EPL that the US produces more than just good goalies:

[via The Offside Rules]

The US striker had a major car accident in October, but he’s up and about these days, and says he should be ready to suit up for the South Africa squad.

He was seen recently playing $5/$10 no-limit hold’em at Bellagio in Las Vegas. No report on how well he wielded his stack.

[via BluffMagazine.com]

They may have been in prime position to be the sentimental favorites at the African Cup of Nations, but three dead after Angolan rebels peppered their team bus with machine gun fire, Togo is pulling out of the competition … and encouraging other teams to do the same.

God bless the Irish - Once I read Unprofessional Foul there was no doubt what would lead the link dump. Irish sides Newry City and Larne met up in something called the Irish Cup which I assume is their version of the FA Cup. Here’s what I can tell from searching the news sites. Things were going along fine until the 80th minute when Larne captain Liam Hogan committed felonious assault on Darren King (pictured above). After that all damned hell broke loose. Punches, kicks and everyone sent home.  My favorite group of pictures were presented by the BBC, insanity.

Editorial comment: Soccer players fight like little school girls.

Should have paid the electric instead - Real Madrid were paid €2,000,000 for a trip to Albania (Elbonia?) to play a friendly against Gramozi, a newly promoted side who borrowed players from other teams for a little boost. Then the stadium lights went out. Things were thrown, curses cursed, and somebody got sacked. Eventually Real Madrid won the match and got the hell out of Dodge.

Captain Raul was the only Real player to stay for the presentation of a cup, before leaving in a hurry surrounded by bodyguards.

Personalized stab-proof vests in time for the World Cup - This summer’s World Cup will see ~500,000 fans heads to South Africa where they are averaging 50 murders per day and more than 50% of them via knife/shank/sharpened nail clipper (reference TSA procedures). Now local crime lords promise to boost up the mayhem quotient. It makes perfect sense a company would now offer stab-proof vests for those making the trip and kind enough to give supporters the chance to order a vest with their national flag.  World Cup officials are pissed at everyone.  Customized personal protection equipment will be all the rage. (h/t Wicked Chops Poker)

Nine men, No problem - The top fixture in Serie A was the derby between AC Milan and Inter who were 7 points clear before the match. Inter scored their first goal early and then played much of the match with 10 men when Wesley Sneijder was sent off in the 27th minute. An injury time dismissal was enough to grab the 9-man headline then Secreteriat-like Ronaldinho has a penalty attempt rejected. I do think the reporter by have blown the size of this match out of proportion.

During a build-up which had involved more tactics than any game of football, Sneijder and Alessandro Nesta were both set to miss an eagerly-anticipated Milan derby.

Stoke City gun down the Gooners - Winner for worst EPL headline. Stoke City took points from Liverpool last week and this time around they knock Arsenal from the FA Cup. Wenger fielded a fairly weak side after the mid-week clash with Bolton but he’ll have some questions to answer. Who’s left in the FA Cup besides Chelsea and Coca Cola pretenders? Manchester United and Arsenal are now tied atop the leaderboard with the mighty Chelsea (KTBFFH) but they have two games in hand on ManU and one on the Arse.

Becks gets groped - I have no idea how to explain the video below. I cannot speak a lick of Italian but I believe the lass spends a few minutes talking about David Beckham’s junk and then goes on a sneak attack. You have to struggle through the first few minutes of yapping and close ups on his manhood but the two minute mark gets entertaining.

The lowest-ranked team left in the FA Cup — from League 2 — is currently battling Fulham at home. If they could win, they’d undoubtedly become the Cinderella story of the FA.

But who are they? That’s exactly why they are so ready to be a fan favorite:

UPDATE: Fulham scores. Boooo!

I don’t really get this story, but according to ESPN Soccernet, David Beckham cost the people of New Zealand $1.46 million. Apparently an exhibition match between Beck’s LA Galaxy and the Oceania “All-Stars” (yeah, those guys) failed to generate enough revenue, and now Kiwi taxpayers have to foot the remainder of whatever it cost to put on the game.

“The decision to promote the L.A. Galaxy event was made without a formal business strategy or a clear policy about the level of commercial risk that the council was willing to assume,” said New Zealand Auditor General Phillippa Smith. “We conclude that, despite the efforts of the council officers involved, the loss occurred because the L.A. Galaxy/Oceania ‘All Stars’ match was in essence the wrong event, at the wrong time, for the wrong price.”

And in other news, some Italian chick grabbed Beckham’s crotch. Video below:

Beck Ball Touch

When the U.S. takes the Home Depot Center pitch this Saturday against Honduras, the most popular player on the field will be…Jonathan Bornstein?

It was Bornstein’s injury time equaliser against Costa Rica in the final qualifying match that sent Honduras into the World Cup for the first time since 1982 and propelled him to Hero status in the Central American country.

This, just four days after the U.S. team played the role of villain with an improbable 3-2 win over Honduras at San Pedro Sula to cement their own World Cup credentials.

All was forgiven, however, after Bornstein headed his last-gasp goal. According to Soccer By Ives, Bornstein has been invited by Honduran President Roberto Michelleti to vacation in the country, should he need some R&R after the World Cup.

I love this video featuring Honduran announcers. Have you ever been this happy about anything in your life?

Bonus points for the Costa Rica assistant coach being the spittin’ image of John C. Reilly.

Bornstein is assured of starting at left back and seems to have a stranglehold on the spot for South Africa. Saturday’s game is at 6 p.m. PST and will be broadcast on Fox Soccer Channel.

Apparently all it takes is a little off-field happiness to transform a player from overpaid bust back to FIFA World Player of the Year. Or so seems to be the case with Ronaldinho.

Explaining his recent resurgence (6 goals in the past 3 games), the AC Milan midfielder said, “I feel the love and so I am happy. I step onto the field happy and everything goes smoothly from there.”

Turn up the Bobby McFerrin!

The Kop during happier times (Andy Teebay/Propaganda)

“Blow me f*** face” says Liverpool to a supporter - It may seem I like to bag on those lovable Scousers because it’s true. I had a rough time picking a lead story for the link dump but I think this short yet descriptive email from Tom Hicks Jr to a Liverpool supporter is a fine start. The next obvious step was Hicks resigning from the Liverpool Board of Directors.

How did the rest of the week go for Liverpool?

- Crashed out of the FA Cup to powerhouse Reading.
- While losing to Reading, Torres and Gerrard go down with severe injuries.
- Give up a last minute goal to draw with Stoke City.
- Ryan Babel twitters his unhappiness with Rafael Benitez.
- Benitez then apologies for the team being crap.
- And the final nut kick, stories of Steven Gerrard ready to leave Anfield.

Glazers take £20m out of Manchester United - Continuing the EPL trend of Liverpool and Portsmouth, reports are now coming out about just how deep the historic club is buried in debt. It is so bad they might consider selling Old Trafford (and leasing it back). At least they have their FA Cup money to help out. Nevermind. The Daily Mail has a good rundown of the situation.

Meanwhile ManU supporters think Sir Alex should quit - They mean it as a way of protest. It seems a perfectly reasonable, non-knee jerk response and certainly much better than the standard French response of “Go on strike. Again.”

Chelsea score a touchdown - The American Football version, hanging 7 goals on hapless Sunderland despite missing Didier Drogba, John Obi Mikel, Michael Essien and Salomon Kalou to the Africa Cup of Nations. Not all is happy at Stamford Bridge though as Michael Essien has a knee injury forcing him from African and club competitions.

Shorthanded Arsenal can catch Chelsea - The Gooners have a chance to tie Chelsea atop the leaderboard with a midweek match against Bolton but will be making their second half run without 9 first team players including Robin van Persie and Johan Djourou who are lost for the year.

Thierry Henry to meet with FIFA - Noted French cheat (not mutually exclusive) Thierry Henry will finally meet with the FIFA disciplinary committee concerning his handball in World Cup qualifying. I’m not sure what they can actually do other than a typical sternly worded slap on the wrist at which point the French national will surely lay down his weapons and form an underground. None of this makes a difference to the Irish side which was cheated out of a spot in the 2010 World Cup.