The ones that aren’t injured, that is.

Only Jonathan Bornstein, Robbie Findley and Clarence Goodson make the cut from the 2-1 win over El Salvador in Tampa last night. Eddie Johnson and Alejandro Bedoya are surprise additions, though for different reasons, as EJ inspires a “WTF?” and Bedoya a “Cool!”

Notable omissions include Brian Ching, who was decent against El Salvador (and “decent” is pretty much the highest rating Ching has ever received in the USA short), fellow target striker Kenny Cooper, Greek exile Freddy Adu and Tigres left back Edgar Castillo. Those four can assume they are outside the bubble for South Africa and will need a change of fortune in the next three months to merit consideration.

The full roster:

GOALKEEPERS- Brad Guzan (Aston Villa), Marcus Hahnemann (Wolverhampton Wanderers), Tim Howard (Everton)

DEFENDERS- Jonathan Bornstein (Chivas USA), Carlos Bocanegra (Rennes), Jay DeMerit (Watford), Clarence Goodson (IK Start), Heath Pearce (FC Dallas), Frank Simek (Sheffield Wednesday), Jonathan Spector (West Ham United)

MIDFIELDERS- DaMarcus Beasley (Rangers), Alejandro Bedoya (Orebro), Michael Bradley (Borussia Mönchengladbach), Landon Donovan (Everton), Maurice Edu (Rangers), Stuart Holden (Bolton Wanderers), José Torres (Pachuca)

FORWARDS- Jozy Altidore (Hull City), Robbie Findley (Real Salt Lake), Eddie Johnson (Aris Thessaloniki)

Here’s how I would line ‘em up (4-4-1-1):

Howard
Spector — Bocanegra — DeMerit — Bornstein
Holden — Bradley — Edu — Donovan
Torres
Altidore

Will never happen.

Hoyos is an 18-year-old midfielder who was born in Fountain Valley, CA to Argentine parents. A few years ago, he moved with his mother and younger brother Kevin to Argentina, eventually finding his way onto the youth team at Estudiantes, a storied club in Argentina’s top division. And now, Hoyos is making appearances with the senior team. At age 18. In one the biggest leagues outside of Europe.

So why the cringing? It seems Hoyos is going the way of a fellow dual-citizen, New Jersey-born Giuseppe Rossi, who famously shunned the U.S. Soccer program for glory and plaudits with Italy (not to mention two goals against the U.S. in last summer’s Confederations Cup). According to Yanks Abroad, Hoyos has been invited into Argentina’s Under-20 camp.

Hoyos now appears to join the growing list of top-notch players who prefer their ancestral homelands to the Red, White and Blue, a list that also includes Serbian defender Neven Subotic.

This distressing trend can be firmly laid at the feet of the United States Soccer Federation, which has done a poor job of recruiting these dual-citizens to the program (and, in the case of Subotic, outright insulted him). Sure, overtures were made to Hoyos, but you’ve got to SELL the program. Soccer in this country will never inspire like it does the world over. The U.S. Men’s National Team will never generate the passion one sees in the stands when the Azzuri or Albicelestes take the pitch. So you have to do more than just say, “Hey, wannna play for us?”

Or be doomed to watch kids from Orange County score on us in big tournaments.

Or so says Darren Bent. The Sunderland striker recently swore off Twitter after claiming that the 140-character-or-less social networking site was a “distraction” to himself and  his relegation-threatened teammates.

“I had a good chat with the manager recently and I just thought with the run we’re on at the moment, I needed to get rid of the distractions,” Bent told the Sunderland Echo. “I have to solely focus on getting Sunderland out of the relegation battle and I have shut the Twitter down. I don’t even go on it any more to look at what other people are posting.”

Well, I guess when it comes from a guy called “DBTheTruth” it has to be…true.

Soccer WAGs in bodypaint - The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit has an iconic reputation even if it’s lost some of it’s gleam with the every day stylings of PG-13 mags like Maxim, FHM, etc but it’s worth a look. Even more so now that they’ve thrown in four of the finest WAGs covered in nothing but bodypaint. Go ahead and check them out, I’ll be here when you return.

“I was just trying to help the payroll!” - Seems ManU supporter Adam Teese has fine aim from the stands as he winged Manchester City striker Craig Bellamy with a coin from the stands. Teese was arrested and continued the streak of nasty business during the derby.

When all else fails, blame the press - First Chelsea go out and smoke Arsenal on the pitch then Wenger took a few shots at the boys in Blue with “They make the foul at the right time when they are caught on the counter-attack, the little push with the shirt. It is not enough to get a yellow card.” Michael Ballack took exception and gave a little back to the Arsenal manager. In the end, Wenger just blames it all on the press.

“You did that at Villa, you did that at Chelsea,” Wenger continued. “If you look at the intent of my press conference it was positive to the opponent. If you want, we can have a press conference and I can say nothing, don’t worry.”

Bad break for the EPL leaders - Chelsea followed up their big win over Chelsea by letting Everton pick up 3 points later in the week. The biggest hit to the table leaders is the loss of Ashley Cole with a broken ankle. He’ll likely be out for 3 months and will make it more interesting to see if Wayne Bridge gets a call to the national team. Though Ancelotti does hope Cole will be ready. Incidentally, Cole’s injury was sustained in a clash with Mr. Landycakes.

Broken ankle not Cole’s only problem - Ashley Cole’s broken ankle will now give him plenty of time to deal with the problem of watching his wife split for the States without the jewels of matrimony. What the hell is in the water at Stamford Bridge?

Footballers find something to be shy about - It’s not uncommon to see/hear some nasty things around various soccer venues especially in the deep heart of the continent. There are still some crazy stories about racial abuse even in these “enlightened” times. Even with these random problems they seem to be making some progress. Racial issues are easy compared to someone asking top footballers to help stamp out homophobia. Big strong men afraid of catching a little grief from opposing supporters.

“Everybody assumes footballers are full of confidence, but it is not easy on issues like this. Remember there was a time when even black players did not feel they could talk about race.”

Welcome to 2010 gentlemen.

Hey, it worked for the Cosmos, didn’t it?

So what are the odds of these types of players continuing to blaze the path of Juan Pablo Angel and Becks before them? Personally, I think Beckham’s initiation into MLS (dodgy pitches, mediocre teammates, opponents hacking him down regularly) has had a chilling effect on aged stars considering a move across the pond and that these flirtations amount to little more than a negotiating ploy with the deeper-pocketed–and not league-owned–teams in the Old World.

John Terry - Father of the Year

I’ve spent a few of these weekly link dumps to have a little fun at the expense of the Scousers and Gooners and anyone else worthy of a pop, so I suppose I should be an equal opportunity jerk and take a shot at my boy John Terry. Chelsea stalwart, former English captain, and all around fine fellow. Until.

Terry sets precedent - Rumors had been widely circulated that Chelsea tough guy John Terry had been spending some quality horizontal time with the lady friend of former mate Wayne Bridge. The British court system was heavily weighted against the press up until last week when they were given permission to document the details. Now it is the biggest sporting sex scandal since Tiger Woods showed up at a random Hooters.

Terry sacked as English captain - No real surprise here as the entire nation was calling for his head. Just to keep things interesting with actual football, Fabio Capello named Rio Ferdinand as the replacement.

Naturally the Archbishop of Canterbury had his say - “Clearly, a lot of people think there isn’t a problem there and that’s a pity because adultery is adultery. It’s a shame that we lost that sense that faithfulness matters. I’d like to see it back.”

John Terry named Father of the Year - That’s right, after spending an entire week splashed across every rag in the nation for schtupping a former friends chippy (at least her, probably more) someone had to bring up his Father of the Year award.

Terry leads Chelsea over Arsenal - Like any hard headed footballer, he then went out to anchor the Blues in a solid display to crush the final hopes The Gooners had of winning the league this year. Even after Samir Nasri claimed they would not be intimidated by Chelsea. All’s well that ends well.

“Physical strength is very important, but if we are able to compensate for this deficiency through our technique, like Barcelona, I can’t see where the problem is. Look at Xavi and Andres Iniesta, they are not physical monsters.”

Liverpool looking to for £100 million by the summer - Never a dull moment around Liverpool even after squeaking by Everton this weekend. The owners are now looking for a £100 million cash injection or they might sell the club. Liverpool supporters may have a tough decision whether to hope for the cash or pray the American owners crawl back to the states. They are also looking for investors to help with the process of building a new stadium so they can move out of Anfield.

Rio Ferdinand takes the armband from the disgraced Terry, with Steven Gerrard named vice-captain.

Interestingly, the news mirrors a long-rumored situation involving the US Men’s team in 1998. Former Nats striker Eric Wynalda confirmed on Fox Football Fone-In that ex-teammate John Harkes had an affair with Wynalda’s wife prior to the World Cup in France. This revelation contributed to Harkes being dropped from the World Cup team by Coach Steve Sampson, who cited nebulous, “leadership issues.”

And Sampson this week saw an opening to blame the US’s poor performance in France on something other than his awful coaching.

“Hey! We had one of those affair thinghees too and that’s why we sucked at the World Cup in 1998, not because of my absurd 3-6-1 formation or the fact that I changed a handful of starters after the opening loss to the Germans or that I’m as tactically astute as a ball-peen hammer!”

Sorry Steve. Not buying it.

What effect this will all have on the England side remains to be seen–what are the odds we can convince Fabio Capello to consult with Sampson over how to deal with the fallout?–and it does not appear Terry is any danger of getting the Harkes treatment. But we’re sure to hear plenty more about it as the June 12 opener vs. the US draws closer. The British press isn’t exactly known for its restraint in these matters.

You can view the complete schedule after the jump.

2010 FIFA World Cup Schedule

2010 WORLD CUP TV SCHEDULE - ESPN, ESPN2, ABC AND ESPN360.COM

u All times EASTERN u Schedule is subject to change

u All matches in high definition u ABC Sports broadcasts in italics

Wayne Rooney scored all four goals versus Hull City

Great news, it’s not broken! - Just a nasty hamstring injury that will limit Arsenal defender Thomas Vermaelen. You know your side is in desperate shape with injuries when the headline reads “Avoids Leg Break”. The injury occurred during the match with Aston Villa where the Gooners did their titles hopes no favors with a draw. Then on Sunday they let Manchester United walk all over them 3-1.

In a match shown in wonderous 3D - As if having your EPL title hopes squashed wasn’t bad enough, the feat was shown with the magic of 3D technology. Naturally someone had to throw in an Avatar reference.  We can blame Sky for bringing us Wayne Rooney’s ugly mug in glorious 3D.

Wayne Rooney insists he’s staying with ManU - Any time a player is rolling along like Rooney there is always speculation he’ll be lured away by dreams of magical paydays and the streets of London/Milan/etc. Rooney is shooting down those thoughts.

“There’s always speculation, and when other big teams are talking about you, it’s nice that you’re talked about,” Rooney told Manchester United’s official website. “But as I’ve said many times before, I’m a United player and I’m very happy here.”

Meanwhile, Rooney’s current and former agents are sniping - There seems to be a little £4.3 Million dispute between his agents he was but a young las at Proactive and his current agent, generally about fees on the massive sponsorship deals Rooney has accrued. This little tiff doesn’t seem to be affecting the league goal leader on the pitch as he just might crack the 30-goal barrier for the first time in his career.

Bottom dwelling Hull City draw with Chelsea - And we will speak of this no more. Although the tying goal from Drogba was quite nice.

Charlie Davies setting amazing recovery pace - As Dan mentioned earlier in the week, Charlie Davies was seen playing a little poker around Las Vegas this week. This comes on the heels of a great piece on ESPN about his recovery. After receiving horrific injuries in a car accident just a few months ago, the entire soccer world assumed there was a very slim chance he would be even close to stepping on a pitch let along compete for a spot. He suffered through a broken right femur and tibia, broken left elbow, a lacerated bladder, and facial fractures that required doctors to literally peel his face off to repair. The accident occurred on October 13th and he is already jogging and looking to be back on the field with FC Sochaux by April. If you read just one link this week, this should be your choice.

If Davies can complete his recovery on its new timetable, it will be some welcome good news for a U.S. team that just recently had midfielder Clint Dempsey sidelined by a PCL injury that threatened to jeopardize his World Cup. The U.S. team’s top striker before the accident, Davies brings a combination of speed, strength and finishing ability that no other player in the national team pool can provide, and a healthy Davies would provide a significant boost, both on and off the field.

Togo rewarded for losing members in an attack with expulsion - The most insane news of the week comes out of the bizarre world of African soccer. You would think ahead of the World Cup they would show a little common sense. Everyone knows by now the Togolese bus was ambushed ahead of their appearance in the African Nations Cup losing team members and staff. Understandably the team felt it necessary to return home and forfeit their matches after such a horrible ordeal. The Confederation of African Football responded by banning them from the next two African Nation Cup competitions and fined them $50,000US. I try to leave the punditry to others, but that’s $%^#@#$ insanity.

So they’ve gone to the cradle of democracy, Greece, and club side Aris Thessaloniki, to find answers. Both came on as subs last weekend and teamed up for a goal in a 2-1 loss to something called Skoda Xanthi.

Both players, of course, were once thought to be the future of the National Team. EJ made a huge splash in qualifying for the ‘06 World Cup, scoring seven goals in six games, before injury and a severe dip in form derailed his playing time in Germany. Since, he’s gone from MLS to Fulham, which loaned him to Cardiff, and now onto Greece. Adu, the former prodigy and Nike marketing darling, joined him a week later, after a troubled loan spell at Beleneseses (which followed a year-long loan at Monaco, where Adu played sparingly) and the pair are hoping to re-start their dwindling chances to make the roster in South Africa.

The odds are against them, but maybe a trip to the Oracle at Delphi can give the players a clearer picture.

Not to give away the ending, but here’s a breakdown of who drives what:

Peter Crouch - Aston Martin D89
Didier Drogba - Mercedes SL 65
Andriy Schevchenko - Ferrari F360
Zlatan Ibrahimovich - Ferrari F430 Spyder
Ryan Giggs - Bentley Continental GT
Xabi Alonso - Range Rover Sport 4.4
Wayne Rooney - Lamboghini Gallardo
Thierry Henry - Astin Martin Vanquish
Cristiano Ronaldo - Audi R8
Sol Campbell - BMW X5
Alessandro Del Pierro - Fiat 500
David Beckham - Aston Martin D87
Fernando Torres - Audi Q7
Steven Gerrard - Range Rover Vogue
Ruud van Nistelrooij - Mercedes M-Class
Michael Essien - Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

Here’s the map of what spots will comprise the USA bid for World Cup 2018/22:

More info at GoUSAbid.com.

Be sure to follow:

@Soccerati

Also some of our venerable contributors, including @alcanthang and @JoeSpeaker.

It’s gotta be hard to cheer for a guy who killed a fellow fan, no matter how many goals he scores:

[via The Offside Rules]

He was seen recently playing $5/$10 no-limit hold’em at Bellagio in Las Vegas. No report on how well he wielded his stack.

[via BluffMagazine.com]